I was talking to a friend I used to work with the other day. And we talked a little about our old boss. I was talking about my feelings towards this old boss of mine. And as I was talking, my friend stopped me and said, "you are still hung up on that?" I said no, that I just didn't like this person. But later that night, and since then I have thought to myself. Am I really still hung up on that? It is like the picture above, sometimes we dwell on things so long, before we know it, those things roots are deep and hard to pull out, therefore they are hard to let go of. And I thought to myself, why do I really need to have those things in my life? Why do I continually feel the need to revisit those times, and think about them? Why should I not forgive, forget and get over it? So to this friend, Thank you for making me really think about this. WAKE UP CALL!
It also made me reflect on a talk I heard by President James E. Faust. I had the privilege of being at the conference center with a great friend named Melissa, and his talk still means as much to me if not more now, as it did when I first heard it. It is called "Instruments in the Hands of God". Here is a paragraph from his talk,
"
I believe that all of you sisters want to be happy and find the peace that the Savior promised. I think many of you try very hard to keep up with all of your responsibilities. I do not wish to offend anyone. I am reluctant to mention a matter but feel it should be said. Sometimes we carry unhappy feelings about past hurts too long. We spend too much energy dwelling on things that have passed and cannot be changed. We struggle to close the door and let go of the hurt. If, after time, we can forgive whatever may have caused the hurt, we will tap “into a life-giving source of comfort” through the Atonement, and the “sweet peace” of forgiveness will be ours.4 Some injuries are so hurtful and deep that healing comes only with help from a higher power and hope for perfect justice and restitution in the next life. Sisters, you can tap into that higher power and receive precious comfort and sweet peace. "
If you would like to read the entire talk, here is the link
As I read that paragraph I long for that comfort that he speaks of. I do carry to much pain from my past. I don't mean to, but I can feel it there. And I should forgive, and let go. But how do I do that, after holding onto it for so long?
We need to leave our past behind us, let it walk away and not resurface in our daily thoughts. I think this can be done by a real desire to do so, and of course with sincere prayer and scripture study. And if you feel you need it, a priesthood blessing As we do these things I believe that our past hurts will become blurred in our memory, rather than vivid. I believe that though we can reflect on what we have learned from our past, we can let go and forgive those that have wronged us, and forgive ourselves. I think that is one of the hardest things we as humans do, we cannot forgive ourselves. There was a time in my life, one of many really, where I was seeking forgiveness from my Heavenly Father. And I kept praying, "please Father, forgive me." I would say this over and over on bended knee. I would plead with my Father for his forgiveness. I remember talking to my very wise mother about this, and she said something to me that has always stuck with me, "I think our Father in Heaven forgives us rather quickly. It is you who needs to forgive yourself now." That really got to me, had I forgiven myself? I still wonder this today. But I believe that to be true. It is not doctrine, but I know that our Heavenly Father loves us. And he wants to forgive us. He does not want to with hold his forgiveness, and so therefore when we ask for it, he freely gives it. All we have to do is ask with a sincere heart.
So, Can we all try to let go of those deep rooted pains of the past we carry with us, make our lives lighter, and feel the peace, joy and comfort that is eagerly awaiting us? I believe that we can. I know that we can.
