Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Do they know?

I've been gone...from this blog anyway.  There are times where I am laying in bed at night, and I think of things to write about.  But by morning, I never remember.  So I am sorry for my few readers for my absence.

We have all done things in our lives that we regret.  Which leads to having people in our lives we would rather not be around.  Not necessarily because they are bad people, but because they remind us of our regrets.  That happened to me today.  And these people, I seem to run into them all the time.  I wonder to myself why it is that I have to always run into them.  It makes me uncomfortable for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is this.  I loved them.  I am not talking about an ex boyfriend....because barf...that  is all I have to say.  I am talking about those who were almost my family.  And I loved them.  They were people I loved to be around, and when I could no longer be around them, I was heartbroken and sad.  And I missed them.  But they never knew that. They know a lot of my mistakes.  And that makes me uncomfortable.  So when I see them I wonder, do they know how much they meant to me?  Do they know I missed them for so long?  Do they know that I still think such great things about them?  Do they know that I have changed?  Do they know that I am better than I was?  Do they know that I have made my wrongs right?  Do they know....I loved them?  I don't think these are things I will ever know.  At least not in this life.  But why let it bother me?  Why do I sit here and think about it for so long?  It has been almost 8 yrs, why do I care anymore?

President James E. Faust said in a talk once, that we women hold onto things to much for to long.  Those are not his exact words, but you get the idea.  It is true, SO true.  And I know I do that.  We need to do our best to leave the past behind, because that is where it belongs, in the past.  We are human, and therefore make mistakes.  And we have to learn to accept that.  Of course always strive to be better, and do our best to make right choices.  We need to have faith in God and Jesus Christ.  And trust that they will lift us up through our trials, if we have faith.  And having faith is not always easy.  Sometimes our faith is tested.  But if we get down on bended knee we will be buoyed up, and at some point in or after the trial we will feel the extra strength we are given through the loving mercy of our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

That my dear friends, is what we need to always try to remember.  And we need not worry about what others may know or think of us.  Because the ones that need to know DO.  And also we need to remember that our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ know.  They KNOW our hearts.  And the love us all.

I bear you my testimony, that I know my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ love me, and all of us.  They know us better than we know ourselves.  I know that through faith and prayer we can stand tall and know we are loved.  And I know that through faith and prayer we can overcome our weaknesses and trials in this life.  I love my Father in Heaven, and I love my Savior, Jesus Christ.  In them I trust, in them I have faith.

So Do They Know I love them?  Yes, they do.