We must still Seek Him!

(photo taken by Rich States Photography) 

It is the season of giving.  The season that we celebrate the birth of our beloved Savior Jesus Christ.  As I contemplate the true meaning of Christmas, I am humbled at the thought of the remarkable miracle of it all.  I am so thankful to know my Savior.  I often wonder, why? Why have I been so blessed to have been born to parents who taught me to know and love my Brother, Redeemer, and Savior Jesus Christ?

  We have been born in a time when the world needs the Savior more than ever.  It is our responsibility to bring him to those in this world who do not yet know him.  And bring him to those who have forgotten.  "For God so loved the world, he sent his only begotten Son."  God loves us, Christ loves us.  We are theirs, and they are ours.  And we must teach the people.  We must teach our children.  We must spread the word of his Glorious birth and teachings!  We must shout it out from the roof tops!  We must not be afraid to live what we preach and be who our Savior wants us to be!  We must continually Seek Him!  Which leads me to the video I would like to share with you.  Which has uplifted my soul tonight.



I love you all.  Though many I do not know.  I love you.  I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.  And I hope you enjoy this video.



#Lookingforjesus #Sharethegift

I only want to Love

How do I explain the things to my children of the world today?  When I was younger, my parents did not need to explain why a woman marries a woman, and a man marries a man.  Today has brought so many emotions that I am feeling overwhelmed.  My heart has been so full from such a wonderful Conference this past weekend.  Elder Oaks prophesied these things to come to pass, and the very next day it happened.  It only proves to me the power of the men who are at the head of this great Church of Jesus Christ. Have faith......have faith.  It rings through my mind as I look at my children and realize that the world they are growing up in is far harder than the one I did.  HAVE FAITH!  Being a Christian and following the teachings of Jesus Christ is not popular. I want my children to always have the faith and the strength to believe in the words of the Prophets and the Savior, as they grow and discover who they are and will become, because in the end the choice is ultimately theirs.

I love my Savior.  And he loves me just as much as he loves the evil doers of this world.  How it must sadden him to watch them fall so deeply into the darkness.  But we can be the light.  My mother has always said, "My dear one, be a Light Giver."  So I say that to you, in the midst of so much darkness, we must continue to be the "Light Givers".  It is within us all, to be the light in the dark.  I believe that by doing this and as we keep listening to the still small voice, we will figure out our part.  We all have responsibilities to make this world a glorious one.

As certain happenings occurred in this state today, I found myself sobbing in heartbreak.  Because I will have to explain things to my children that I cannot understand myself.  I admit I feel like I am lost in this.  I have no words to give to help such a small innocent child with so many questions understand these things.

Because of my beliefs I have been called many names, even by those that I love.  How do I express my love and devotion to them, even though I may not agree with them?  It is not righteous to be contentious.  And I have no desire to be contentious.  The spirit runs from contention, and I do not want that.  I want peace within the differences of my fellow man.   I love you.  I will never despise you just because you make choices I don't.  My role is to love, never to hate,  Even though I am labeled as a hater, I am not.  I truly am not.  Please respect my children as I teach them to love God and love Jesus Christ.  Please understand this is not only sensitive to you who live differently than I do.  Please be kind as I am kind to you.  I respect that you have the right to live the way you choose.  And I will never be cruel. I only want to bring happiness to those around me.

As my heart breaks, please know it does not mean I do not care.

I trust in my Savior.  I love him.  He knows me by name,  He is always with me.  He will help me be strong,  When my Savior comes I want to be able to look into his eyes, fall to his feet and say "Lord, I am a sinner, but I love thee, please forgive me, I am trying to be who thou wants me to be."

I promise to never spread hateful words.  I love you, even if you do not love me.

Women of the Church

I do my best to stay away from controversial topics on my blog.  But this has weighed heavily on my mind, and I felt I needed to share it.

 In the world today, there are many things that we face that we did not even face 5 years ago. At least not to the degree we do today.  Technology continues to skyrocket and blow my mind at times.  With all these great things that we have, also comes great wickedness.  Not the technology itself of course, but the people who use it.  Satan uses all that is created for our good, for our destruction!  Something that we are facing in the church today, is who should hold the priesthood.  And the media and internet has exploded with the topic.  And through the use of technology, many have followed and supported this.  Now, I understand that there are those who have a righteous desire to know the answer to whether women should hold the priesthood.  I believe that they have received their answer.  But since it was not the answer they were seeking, they continue to push the issue.  They, through negative influence, are being deceived.  They are unwilling to understand the purpose of these things, and have lost faith in our leaders. (Let me remind you, these are my own opinions. And not to be confused with doctrine, although I think doctrine supports my opinion.)   As a young girl I remember watching the young men passing the sacrament.  I remember thinking that I could not wait until I got to do that.  So I asked my mom when it would be my turn.  She then explained that girls did not pass the sacrament.  I asked why, and she said because boys hold the priesthood, and girls do not.  I asked why, and she said, because women do not need it, and boys do.  That seemed to satisfy my curiosity and I was fine with that answer.  As a young child I had faith that what my mother was telling me was true.  And she had faith that what the leaders of the church told her was true. And that they spoke for God. 

So why are we as adults so quick to question the leaders of the church?  Why do we doubt them?  Do you not know that most doubt comes from the adversary?  Be stronger than that!  Be a woman of God!  I believe that we as women have such an amazing opportunity in this day. We have opportunities we have never had before!  So why don’t we stand up for ourselves, instead of whining about things we think we are entitled to?  I will tell you right now, Kate Kelly has been deceived by the adversary.  I know this to be true.  And I pray that she will find peace one day in her choices.  Do you not remember that this is all a part of Satan’s plan?  False priests who oppress!  He declared that this is what he would do.  When you start to follow someone who preaches and leads you to doubt the words of the prophets, it just shouts deception. And I cannot understand why this is something that is so hard to see. 

As a woman of the church I feel great honor and joy in my abilities to lead in this church.  We have the power of the priesthood sisters!  And we use it.  We may not be ordained, but we have the power within us. Ordination is not necessary.   It is promised to us that we will be granted all the same glories as any man can.  Man holds nothing over me, and I nothing over him.  We are equals in the eyes of the Lord.  He loves us all equally, so of course we are given equal opportunities for all the same blessings we are promised, if we keep our covenants. 

We are blessed to live in a time and in a religion where we are free to ask questions.  But, we must learn to recognize when those questions are answered, even when the answer may not be what we wanted or hoped for.  On Sunday my Bishop got up and gave us a warning that struck me.  I was filled with the spirit telling me his words were of God, and that they were true.  He spoke these words with such power I could not deny them.  He said, “If we are endowed, and we are not attending the Temple, reading and studying our scriptures and praying regularly, WE WILL BE DECEIVED!”  And we will be my dear friends. So take head, and have faith!

I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the only church on this earth to be true.  I know that the Leaders of the church speak the words of God.  I know that my Savior bled and died for our sins!  He is the living water!  We thirst for his love and mercy.  And it is freely given if we are willing to partake of it.   I know that Thomas S. Monson is the true and living Prophet today.  I know that Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when he was just 14 years old.  He translated the gold plates into the sacred words of The Book of Mormon, another Testament of Jesus Christ.  I know that we are given blessings to help us achieve the rewards we are promised. 

Our Savior loves us.  He is there to advocate for us and guide us.  He is our Redeemer and friend. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Dear 12 yr old Me

When I entered Jr. High I was excited and nervous.  Little did I know that struggles of growing up were going to take their toll on me.  But obviously I survived.  I look back now and wish I could tell myself a few things.  Although I know part of who I am today, is that tiny little girl, who tried desperately to fit in.  But if I were given the chance, this is what I would tell her.



Dear Me,

  Life is not going to be easy.  But you are going to go through some things that will change you, make you sad, angry, and want to give up.  But you will also experience JOY, excitement and pure love.  But I want to tell you something.  IT IS OK not to be popular!  The popular kids are not the type of people you want to hang out with.  You are ok with just being you!  You are strong, you are smart, you can get through it all.  But you cannot do it alone.  You need your Savior, you need your family.  There is going to come a time where certain choices need to be made.  Please listen to the spirit.  Please listen to your mother.  Please listen to your heart.  Your feelings for certain people will allow satan to tempt you.  RUN!  Stay close to the gospel, read your scriptures, say your prayers.  And please smile.  Smile!  Don't walk through the hallway with your head down. LIFT IT UP!  You are worth knowing.



Love, Me



Today young boys and girls, even us older ones, sometimes feel like we have to dress to impress.  Always trying to look like a million bucks, having the latest styles in clothing, makeup, etc.  You have to be skinny.  Because being anything else is just gross, or that is how the world makes you feel.  I believe in trying to stay healthy, which I do not always find easy...ok I never find it easy.  But why do we have to try so hard!?  Colbie Caillat recently came out with a new song called, "Try".  And I love it!  It is my new theme song.  It has helped me feel better about just being who I am.



I believe we must always strive to become better people, but sometimes we can lose ourselves in the process.  Please remember what is most important in this life.  We are not alone in this journey.  Remember you must have faith.  You must trust in the Lord.  He is there to guide you.  Listen to the still small voice.



To all the youth, Please know how wonderful you are.  Don't let the temptations of this world drag you down.  Look in the mirror and smile.  Because there is no one else in this world like you.  You are special, you are beautiful, you are worth it, you are loved.  You are Sons and Daughters of a Heavenly King.  What a remarkable thing to know!



Since I love this song so much I thought I would share it with you all.  Now go out and find joy, even if your day is bitter.  There is joy in the world.

Christ Wants to Forgive

The Atonement is an amazing gift we have all been given.  It is amazing to me how much we all take this gift for granted in this life.  We can use it daily, hourly, every minute of our lives.

There are times in our lives where we feel sad, lonely and lost.  It is in those moments we must do our very best to remember our Saviors love for us.  I know he loves us, and he knows our pains on a very personal level.  He is never gone from us.  And though sometimes we distance ourselves from him, he is always there waiting for us to return to him.  There are times in all our lives where it would be so nice to have our problems, heartaches and trials just magically vanish.  It is in those moments we need to allow him into our souls to buoy us up and comfort us, and to help us find the path that is best for us.  I know he is there. I know from personal experience.  Jesus Christ is the Living Water.  And though we may not always realize it, we thirst for his love, every single one of us.  The atonement is the way to satisfy that thirst.

I will never forget the feeling I had after I went back to church with a true repentant heart.  I emphasize TRUE repentant heart, because there were times I thought I was sorry, but I don't know that I truly was.  Imagine with me for a moment.  Imagine you are in a desert.  You have been traveling for many days, you are thirsty and you are broken and you are feeling defeat, despair, loneliness and hopelessness. And you finally get to that tall cold glass of refreshing water.  You feel it go down your throat, and coat your stomach with relief.  That is what true repentance feels like. You step through the doors and allow your heart to begin to heal through the atonement of Christ, and suddenly your filling your thirst.  It as if you can finally take a breath, and feel relief from your troubles.  When I stepped through the doors of the church, truly repentant, it was like a breath of fresh air, like I was taking a drink after desperate thirst.  I was finally healing.

We cannot know what the future holds, what trials we will face.  But we can know that our burdens can be made light, and we can have comfort in our Savior.  I know my Savior lives and loves us.  He is the light and the way.  Letting go of our fears and anxiety can be so very hard and seem overwhelming, but it is possible through our beloved Savior.  Trust in him, trust in yourself.  Have faith and know that our Savior wants us to be happy.  We deserve great things in this life, we just need to believe that and have faith.  Our Savior wants to forgive.  All we need do, is ask.  And know that he is always there.

Through a Child's Eye's

For the past year I have had one of the most rewarding and challenging callings.  I am a Young Women's Adviser for the Special Needs Mutual.  It has completely changed my life and brought me so much joy.  I learn so much from them, far more than they could possibly learn from me.  But let me take you back to before I was given this opportunity.

I have a cousin who is special needs, I love and adore her so much.  I also used to babysit a young boy with Downs Syndrome, and I loved him so very much as well.   I think I have been blessed to have them in my life, so they could prepare me for my calling that I have now.  I have always loved those with special needs.  So when I became a mother, I wanted to make sure my children knew how wonderful these special individuals are.  When I have noticed my children staring or when they have asked me questions, I answer them with this, "They are angels. Can you see how special they are?"  So this is how my children have perceived them, as angels.  Because they are.  They are incredible.  They have perfect love.

Every year the mutual puts on a production, and they all look forward to it.  I have had the amazing opportunity to direct a scene for the past 2 productions, and it has been a lot of fun.  This year, my 6 yr old daughter asked if she could help me.  She and I would practice the dance at home, and then every Thursday at rehearsal she would help teach it to our group.  Watching my little 6 year old do this was remarkable to me.  As she grew to love these individuals I noticed something about her.  She did not see their disability, she just loved them.  She talked to them like she talked to a great friend.  She hugged them and played with them.  She just saw love.  The love just came flowing out of her, and I was overwhelmed with pride in my sweet little daughter.  I believe she saw them as God does.  Beautiful, Perfect and yes, Angels.  These individuals are so much better and wiser than I am.  Some of the things that they say are pure genius.  The amount of love they offer is amazing.  And I love them so deeply.

My wish is that everyone could see them through my child's eye's.  She sees them for the perfect people that they are.  She sees them with pure Christ like love.  She sees them as beautiful and kind.  She sees THEM, not their disability.  And it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.

This calling has enriched my life, it has helped me gain so much more understanding about the Savior.  These choice spirits have so much love to give.  They amaze me every week.  And I am proud and so very blessed to call them my friends.

So next time you see someone with special needs, I urge you to look in their eyes, and see how wonderful they are.  See them as though you are looking through an innocent child's eye's, see THEM.  Because they are remarkable.