Comfort in Forgiveness

We have all done and said things we regret. We cannot deny that. I have done it many times. And when I find that I have done these things, I feel remorse and sadness for my mistake, so I try my best to do what I can to correct it and make it right. And for the most part the sorry and remorse is reciprocated, and relationships are mended and the offense is forgotten. And that always leaves you feeling good, and repentant in a way. But what about the times when the apology is not reciprocated by forgiveness? What if there is still a grudge being held? What happens when they say nothing to you? I have had this happen to me, it is something that I have let bother me, and I keep asking what else needs to be done to make the wrong right?

The most recent experience for me is something that I still think about. Things were said out of anger, I seriously felt my foot enter my mouth, but before I could stop it, it was to late. I could not take back the words. And because of this whole situation some people had hurt feelings. I tried to call, but got no answer on the other line. I left a message, but did not get called back. So I sent an e-mail, and though I was not forgiven, at least there was response and they acknowledged my efforts to an extent. And to the other person, I sent a text message, but never heard back. This one haunted me. Why would they just ignore my heartfelt apology? Why? I asked that question over and over again in my mind. I would tell myself, they know me, they know I really am a good person, but even good people make mistakes. I recognized it, why could I not be forgiven? This is something I will never know on their end.

So I have wondered, when we ask for forgiveness and forgiveness is not received from the person, what do we do? I talked to my husband, who is better at thinking these things through. He told me that he felt I really had done nothing wrong in the first place. But he knew it was something that had bothered me, and he said, "Honey, you have done all you can do. If they choose not to respond it is no longer your responsibility to apologize anymore." I thought about that for a while. And then I reflected on my Savior. Jesus Christ forgives us, he wants to, he just needs us to ask. If there is something that we have done, he is always there to buoy us up, and comfort our hearts. He WANTS and WILL forgive us if we get on bended knee and simply ask for it. Sometimes the journey of forgiveness is a long and hard one, but he never leaves us in silence. He always is there to answer us, to comfort us, and to guide us. He will NEVER just ignore our pleas for forgiveness. And in that I take great comfort. I trust in him, I believe in him, I love and honor him. So when we ask for forgiveness from someone, and they ignore us, take comfort in remembering the Savior, and his love for EACH and EVERY one of us. Though an individual may not forgive, he will, and therefore you will find that forgiveness which ye seek. And we must always remember, when someone asks us for forgiveness, it is our duty to do so. Do not deny someone the comfort of forgiveness, because we ourselves would not want to be denied that comfort.

This video is a talk given by President James E. Faust in the April 2007 Conference. One of my favorites. I hope it helps you understand more about the power and true healing of forgiveness, the same way it has me.