Best Friends

 So I have this friend who I have been best friends with since we were about 11 and 12.  We have known each other longer than we haven't.  And today I miss her.  I miss her like crazy.  Karen, it has been really WAY to long since I have seen you.  Almost 2 years....ugh.....2 YEARS!!! The pic above is one from when we were 12 or 13.  We were very strange  But had LOTS of fun anyway.  Her mom took the picture, and this is just one of many from that day.  There was a big pile of old clothes we went through and put on some ugly mismatching ones and thought it was so so funny!

 The pic above and below are from when we went to my 9th grade Lagoon day.  FUN!  And I didn't even care that I didn't have makeup on....WOW!  

 These pics are also from Lagoon, we had so much fun there together.  I miss those days sometimes.

 The pics below are from when we went to a Single Adult activity.  And I had braces for the 2nd time.  LOVELY! 

 Obviously Lagoon, again!  We went there A LOT!

So yeah, I miss Karen.  We honestly are so much alike, we have been able to finish each others sentences before, and we have driven our parents crazy.  We have been inseparable. And now can't even see each other when we want.  Who knew life would go by so fast.  I took for granted the times she was so close, or when I had the money to go see her.  We have gone from silly nerdy little girls, to married mothers with 2 children.  I love you Karen.

BLAH!!!

This is how I feel about myself today.

Ok, so I need some uplifting today, anyone care to help?  I feel like crap today, thats right CRAP!  I am fat, tired, and well, I want to run away today.  We all have these moments right?  I am so sick of looking at myself, and not seeing myself.  I don't like wear the size pants I wear, in fact it grosses me out, for me.  I swear others can pull it off much better.  But I am at the in between size, and have been for a while.  So my pants just don't fit right, My smaller pants give me a HUGE muffin top, and my comfortable pants are always saggy in the bum.  But since they don't make half sizes, which sure would be nice, I am stuck.  I have been working out for 3 weeks, and NOTHING!  I hate it when I feel like I am trying SO hard, and I see no result!  Really frustrates me to no end!  UGH!  I just feel GROSS!!!!!  I tried doing my hair curly yesterday, because I was to lazy to take a million hours to blow dry and straighten it, and yeah, well I think I should wait until it is longer to let it be curly, I look like I put my finger in a light socket.  So somehow I need to find something to make me feel good today, and so far, I have not been successful.  I mean when I was in high school I wore a size 2 pants!  SIZE 2!!!!  Now I am ok knowing that I will never see that size again, but is an 8 to much to ask for?  Even a 10?!  Come on!  PLEASE BODY WORK WITH ME HERE.  I am always told it is so easy to lose weight in your 20's ok PROVE IT!  Ugh......UGH!!!!!!  SO NOT IN A GOOD MOOD!  AND I DON'T LIKE IT!

Love

This lifted my soul tonight, so I thought I would share it here.  As I watch my little 3 year old say her prayers every night, I wonder if Jesus is ever there kissing her, and holding her.  I know I love her more than words, so if that is only a glimpse of his love for us, then......how he must miss them.  But I am selfish, and I want them here with me.

I know my Savior lives, I know he loves me and all of us.  How someone could not know that, really is beyond my understanding.  It is just so clear, so obvious to me.  In everything that is around me, in my children's eyes, in their smile and laughter.  Have you ever noticed how fast a child forgives?  I think that is because they are so much like our Savior is so many ways.  They can teach us so much.  

After I had Madilynn I thought I was DONE for a while.  And I am in no rush for another one yet.  But I do know I want more.  I want to experience that moment, when you first look into the eyes of your baby, whether you have given birth to them, or whether some selfless birth mother is giving you their child, and you look in their eyes, and heaven is right there, so close to you, the one moment where the veil is so thin you can touch it for a small moment.  There is nothing sweeter than that.  Nothing.  How lucky I feel to be able to be a mother, to hold a child and sing them to sleep.  Though I feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities at times, I always have the moment where I am reminded what a special gift I have been entrusted with.  How blessed I am to have my girls.  And I know that there are more up there, just waiting for me.  But will they ever know how much I already love them, and how I am also waiting for them?

My Savior, He lives.

My New Found LOVE!

I went to a Zumba class for the first time tonight with my friend Tawnie. And I LOVE IT!  OH MY HECK I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!  I have never had so much fun working out in my life!  So a huge THANK YOU to Tawnie for convincing me to go.  I foresee this being a new good and fun thing in my life.  I have been praying for motivation to workout and to enjoy it as well.  And I love it when Heavenly Father answers my prayers so clearly.  It is like he just said, "Ok Laura I think you are really serious this time, so here you go!"  And I love how he places my friends in those places too!  I am truly blessed!  So here CHEERS to ZUMBA!

I have a few things that bug me that I would like to complain about here.  I don't like it when I know people that I have made efforts to be nice to, and befriend, and they cannot even make eye contact with me!  UGH!  Annoyed!  I don't see what makes them so much better than me!  Because they are not, just as I am not better than they are!  God loves us all, so get over yourself!  I am not going to constantly make efforts for those who continually snub me!  I am a nice person, and I want to be your friend, but if you can't handle that, well then, that is not my problem. Sorry I had to vent, and  this seemed like the right time, and right place.

On a happier note again, my family is going to Canada on May 14th, and I am excited to get away.  British Columbia is such a beautiful place, and I am looking forward to going again.  I am also looking forward to getting some good childrens meds.  hehehe, there is no FDA there so I can get cold Meds for my 3 year old! HOORAY!   And I am looking forward to seeing Gerritt's grandparents!  I really love them so much!

So since we are going to Canada soon, I would like to get into shape!  So I am so  excited that I found ZUMBA!  I am just SOOOOOOOO excited about it if you cannot tell!  It is amazing!  And Tawnie looks so great, and she has been doing Zumba!  So I can see with my own eyes that it works!  Oh Tawnie how I love you for introducing me to this!  I love you anyway, but now I love you even more!

Well, it is late and I need to feed my little baby!  Night all!  And love you!

Temples

This was August 25, 2006.  One of the best days of my life.  Everything was perfect, and all seemed to be to good to be true!  I almost didn't make it here!  I almost married someone who could not give this gift of the temple to me.  But I trusted in the Lord, and Gerritt and I found each other.  He is a good man.  And I am so thankful to be with him for eternity.  

Today in Sunday School we talked about temple work.  I love going to the temple, and I need to go more often.  As we talked about the importance in the temple, it reminded me of those who are waiting who were not able to receive these blessings while on earth.  And it made me remember an experience I had while in the temple.  They are waiting, and I need to get moving on this.  They are waiting.  Why should they have to keep waiting?  So along with the goals that I have made already, this is one I want to add, do temple work for my family that is waiting.

Tired

So this week I have not been very successful in any of my goals, I just feel so so tired.  I feel like I am never fully rested.  Which in turn makes me less patient with those around me.  So I feel like a horrible mom.  Madilynn is not really a great sleeper.  She doesn't take any long naps, and still does not sleep through the night.  She is a good baby, pretty much always happy, but I am tired.  I wish I could find some energy!  So I hope to be more successful from here on out.  I need to help myself.

The Sabbath

Today was Fast Sunday.  I did not get up and bare my testimony today, but I felt it.  Yesterday was the beginning of a fast that my family had for a friend.  So Gerritt and I went to the Temple yesterday and we were able to do some sealings.  It was such a wonderful thing to be able to do.  I had not done any other than my own since I was married.  So I was very excited to have the opportunity.
And then today in Church both Sunday School and Relief Society were very fulfilling.  The lesson in Sunday school was about Chastity, and as I feel like I don't have a problem with that, I always think it is a great reminder, and then when we talk about the atonement and the forgiveness our Savior has made possible for us, it is always comforting to remember that we can be forgiven of our sins.
In Relief Society the lesson was on personal revelation.  And it made me think of many times in my life where I have been blessed to have my own personal revelations.  I have had prayers answered, and I have been protected through personal revelation.  So todays lesson was one filled with the spirit.  I love Sundays like that!
The picture I posted above is one of my favorites, it makes me think of how amazing it must have been to have been in the presence of our Savior and here him teach.  I hope that someday I am worthy enough to witness something so remarkable.
As far as fitness goes today, well I did not really do much physical activity, but I did make sure to drink more water.  Which made me feel good.  That is one thing I want, I just want to feel good.  I have felt sick for what seems so long now, I just want to feel better.
So here I am at the end of a wonderful Sunday, and I have to say that I am so thankful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I know that this is the true Gospel of Christ.  I know that Joseph Smith restored this Gospel to the earth through revelations.  I know that he saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when he was just 14 years old.  I know that I can find true happiness through faith and trust and righteousness.  And I know that if I put my mind to it, I can accomplish all my goals.  I just hope I can.

Here I Go!

This blog is for me.  A place where I can write down my thoughts and ideas.  I have the family blog, but I think that should mostly just be for family updates.  I have Meagan's blog, for all the funny things that she says.  So this is for me, just for me.  And so here I go!

This morning as I was getting ready to go to the temple, I tried on a skirt that fit me loosely after I had Madilynn, as I started to zip it up......to my horror, it was to tight!  I felt  like crying and crawling into bed.  I have just been so out of control lately.  I am  not kidding, yesterday I ate probably 4 twinkies, 2 cupcakes and had 4 cans of pop!  GROSS!!!!!!  I need serious help!  I need to have some uplifting motivation.  That is why I call my blog Lifting the Soul.  Because I think when we are in tune with the spirit and allow ourselves to feel lifted up by the spirit, we can turn and use that to help ourselves in many ways.  Such as, reading our scriptures more, having more meaningful prayer, exercising so that our bodies are healthy, eating right and much more.  So as I resorted to a skirt of a larger size, I thought of how I needed to do something to lift my soul.  

Our Savior suffered for us, he bled and died for us.  He did so much for me that I cannot just sit and be lazy anymore.  I need to be a better daughter of God.  I need to be a better mother and a better wife.  I need to be honest with myself and realize that I can do the things that need to be done.  I need to do better.  And I know that that is what my Savior wants of me, to be better.  To try harder and to be more like him.  I am not perfect, and I know I have a lot of things I need to work on.  But I TRUST that if I live the gospel and do the things that I should do, that I can accomplish so much more.  I have not fallen into the dark and dusty path leading away from salvation, but I have not really been on the straight and narrow either.  

So this is my goal, be more spiritual, love my family better and more, become physically and mentally healthy, read my scriptures, pray and ponder on them, have more meaningful  prayer, and the list could go on.  I am really going to do this.  I am going to be better.