Wishing

I have thought about writing on here that last few days, but I am being honest when I say, that there is really nothing I have felt like writing about.  I have been down and frankly unhappy.  Mostly because I have been consistently working out and working out harder than I EVER have in my entire life, and I have not seen any results.  It is very discouraging.  I hear people saying things I should do, things I should not do.  Such as, stop drinking pop, DUH!  I know this, but that is sooooo hard for me.  I like pop, I like the way it tastes and feels in my mouth.  When I have had a bad day or if my kids have driven me extra crazy, I want to sit down after they go to bed and have a coke.  It is like my coffee, or wine if you will.  When others get stressed and have a glass of wine, or if they need energy and have a cup of coffee, that is what coke is to me.  I don't drink coffee or wine, so please, let me just have my coke!  I am trying to switch to diet, but it is harder than I thought it would be.

I also have a hard time eating healthier.  I am nursing, so I am hungry A LOT!  And so it is hard for me to think about cutting out junk food completely.  I mean I have made changes, seriously I have, I don't eat NEAR as much as I used to, I am eating healthier than I was, not as healthy as I could, but I am doing better.  I am drinking more water to.  So I have made changes.  So why have I not seen any results?  It is utterly depressing to me, and it makes me want to cry.  When I was getting ready for church on Sunday I put on my "fat" skirt and it was tight!  TIGHT!  It was loose on me after I had Madilynn!  UGH!  What on earth am I doing wrong!  Anyway, I am just discouraged.  And so I needed to vent about it.  So here I am, venting to my computer, wishing it would encourage me to keep going, and tell me that I am going to lose 10 pounds soon.  Wishing.........wishing..........wishing........